The Special Issues of Distance Mentoring
No "face to face"
Most conversations involve a combination of verbal and nonverbal behaviors. The nonverbal behaviors (such as facial expressions, posture, and movement of the body) help you to comprehend the meaning and emotion of the spoken information being transferred.
Because you and your mentoring partner are not face to face in a distance relationship, the usual visual clues are missing. You will need to be more precise with the tone of your voice and the words you choose. This goes for written expression, as well. Especially when using chat rooms, instant messaging, and e-mail, it becomes more important to be aware of the weight and tone of your words. Something you intended to be lighthearted and off-the-cuff may be taken much more seriously by the reader.
Also, because you are separated by distance, the relationship may feel more formal than a partnership that's developed in physical proximity. You or your partner may seem less available.
Takes More Time to Establish Relationships
Relationships that aren't built on proximity often take longer to gel. More effort has to be made to get comfortable with each other. You need the patience to allow more time in the beginning to establish the bond.
Time Zone Differences
On the practical side, when two people are separated by multiple time zones, the number of hours they may be available to each other decreases.
Harder to Keep Commitments
You've heard the old expression, "Out of sight, out of mind." Someone in a distant city with whom you converse only by phone or e-mail may seem like an easier choice to put off, or even give up, in a crunch. This makes the commitment even more important.
Now let's look at what you can do to make the distance mentoring experience the best it can be.
Copyright © Barbara Rosen, January 2000
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